You gotta go 3D or go home, baby. This chick, facing me on the Metro, actually had munchkin-sized sparkly stiletto heels attached to her already wildly painted nails. They would fit my friend Shelby's feet. I tried SO HARD to non-chalantly snap an iPhone photo of her nails, but it was all blurry and I was scared since she looked like she could seriously jack me up. So I had to resort to finding internet photos of this in-your-face (pun intended) nail art. As you'll see in the menagerie of fingernail Picassos below, there is usually a common theme between the left 5 fingers and the right 5 fingers. Not so much on our Metro lady...it was like a buffet of nail designs - and not just your standard Chinese buffet - it like was Indian buffet + all-you-can-eat sushi + Souplantation all under one roof. Couldn't you just have picked one theme? Apparently, no.
|For an extra $5, you can have Jenny McCarthy painted on your nail.|
|This is what we like to call the "Wedding Day Special"|
|What happens when you forget and pick your nose? It'd be like getting a peanut stuck up your nose. Better have your Ear, Nose and Throat doctor on speed dial (paging Dr. Schmidt...).|
|And for the age 11-and-under set...or, if you're Mariah Carey and can pull off the over-40-but-still-likes-cutesy-bunnies-and-butterflies schtick.|
|BEFORE: Got fungus?|
|AFTER: Be ashamed no more!!!|