How to make cauliflower NOT taste like ass

So cauliflower - especially raw cauliflower - may be one of the most unappetizing foods to spring up out of mother earth.  Other than drowning cauliflower in Indian spices (one of the few other instances I like cauliflower - mostly because the sauces are so good that the cauliflower serves as a vehicle for the sauce), this "recipe" has transformed the wretched albino brain-looking vegetable into something palatable.

Now I know I say I hate recipes (see sidebar) - and I do - and that's because I'd rather use recipes as guidelines.  If I'm inspired to create something and have never done it before, I'll either just make it up or I'll check out 3 or 4 recipes to get the overall idea.  This recipe, well, I just made up.  But it's delicious so figured it was worth repeating!  And while it's called a salad, it really tastes good warm too, as a side dish.

Mediterranean Cauliflower Salad


Ingredients:
a large cauliflower
zest of one lemon
some lemon juice - about 1/2 a lemon
1/2 bunch of flat leaf parsley, chopped finely
a crapload of extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon of sesame seeds (black or white)
salt
pepper

How to:

Find a cauliflower.  I chose one that was about the same size as my husband's head, since I was bringing this dish to a potluck.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

Rid the cauliflower of its leaves and most of the stem.  I like to chop the cauliflower into 1/2" slices rather than florets because it roasts better and more evenly.  

 Place cauliflower in a bowl.

Scratch that. Place cauliflower in a big ass bowl (BAB, if you will - and everyone should have a BAB - see footnote).  This really made it a bit easier to do the next step, which is mix in olive oil and salt.  I like using Kosher salt or Hawaiian red salt because the granules are big.  How much olive oil? Just enough to coat and moisten the cauliflower...and again, this will depend on the size of your husband's head.  And salt? For this size cauliflower, I used about a tablespoon, and you can always add more at the end to adjust to taste.

Lay the cauliflower slices on a baking sheet with foil in a single layer and roast for 15 minutes.  You'll notice little to no browning on the cauliflower, but if you turn one over - voila! - it's the underside that turns brown!  Which is why the single layer is important.  Turn as many of the suckers over that you can, and return to the oven for another 5-10 minutes til golden brown on both sides.

While the cauli is in the oven, chop 1/2 bunch of parsley.  If you're wondering what that mesh bag is, that's what I bring to the market (www.washableproducebags.com) to avoid having to collect those silly little plastic produce bags that I never know what to do with after.

When the cauli is browned, remove from the oven and let it cool to room temp for several minutes.  Then, using a potato ricer/masher, mash the cauliflower into large granules (i.e. pea sized).  You'll know you're done when it is no longer in any kind of recognizable form.  This helps for people like me who often have a visceral reaction to cauliflower.  Mix in sesame, parsley,  lemon juice, lemon zest, salt & pepper to taste.  At this point, you can add more olive oil or the various mix-ins below - my favorite is the truffle oil.  Chill until, well, chilled.

Remember - you can serve this warm OR cold! If you serve it cold, you'll need more salt, as flavors can be blunted in a chilled dish.

Feeds 6.  Or feeds one, if you're this guy:

Variations:
- add a touch of white truffle oil at the end to make it extra fragrant
- add some curry powder for a hint of Southeast Asian flavor (I guess that would no longer be Mediterranean, then, would it?)
- add crumbled feta for a more Greekish dish

Footnote:
The BAB I like is a commercial-grade stainless steel mixing bowl.  You can get these online for $3.30.  Yes, three bucks.  And they really put the hoity-toity Crate & Barrel, Williams Sonoma, etc. mixing bowls to shame, for a fraction of the price.