There's a contest for everything.

Presenting Yoda, winner of the World's Ugliest Dog Contest 2011:

Surprisingly, he was initially mistaken for a rat.  

Yes, there IS a World's Ugliest Dog Contest, and it is held in Sonoma County, CA every year.  Yoda (I cannot see where they came up with that name) is 2 pounds and 14 years old - which in human, er....Jedi, years makes him, well, about the real Yoda's age.

I know, I know, TWNH is looking a lot like Animal Planet lately.  It's just that on occasion, animals are a bit more interesting than people.  Especially Anthony Weiner.

Beyond. Wrong.

All I can say is, "freaky-ass Chinese dog-manipulators". And I'm not talking about the Chinese people (ting tong ling long) that Alexandra Wallace refers to (Go Bruins), I'm talking about the dog-dyeing ones in dig-hole-hole-deep-enough-and-you-will-end-up-here China. Don't get me wrong, I like my peeps.  I am one of my peeps in fact (imagine that...huh?). But I just think this behavior is just a leeeeetle OTT (over the top).  And I'm totally sure these dyes are not harmful to the dog, just like Chinese milk is safe for kids.

His Chinese name translates as "Tony the Tiger".

Not helpful that poodles are already frightening to start with.

One way to make it seem that pandas are no longer endangered.

Internet criminals strike again!

If you read about how Nigerian craigslist scammers tried to rent my house out, this is part deux.  Now I'm the potential dupe-ee, as I respond to a craigslist ad for a house for rent in Portland.  This time, I had my revenge.  Sort of.

My inquiry about the rental home:

Subject: $1300 / 3br - Detached single family home (Portland OR) To: larryrruecker@yahoo.com Cc: " Nancy" Date: Friday, June 10, 2011, 12:43 PM Hi, My husband and I are looking for a rental home in the close-in area for August (1st or 15th; 1 year lease) and would love to see your rental property.  We are relocating from the East Coast and are flying in July 5-9 to house-hunt.  Is there any way we could set up an appointment to see the home while we are in town?  We will be starting our practices at Providence St. Vincent and Providence Portland and are hoping to find a home in between the two hospitals.  We've been responsible homeowners for the past 6 years and we are hoping to find a home we can treat like our own while we search the market to buy after the first year in Portland.   Thanks so much for your time, Nancy

Their canned reply:

On Jun 10, 2011, at 5:24 PM, Larry r Ruecker <larryrruecker@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello, We are pleased that you have an interest in our house, Our lovely home is still available for lease and we want responsible adults/family who are neat and also believe that they have what it takes to take care of our house as if it were theirs. My wife and I initially had it up for sale but had a change of mind in leasing it out ourselves because the agent that was in charge of our rental property was asking too much of an agent fee and also making it difficult for people who cannot afford the rent, stay away from renting my house. The reason why our house is up for lease is because I got transferred from my place of work to Boston MA, I will be away with my family for at least 4 to 5 years because of the love I have for them, I have decided not to sell our house and also assuring them that we only have few years to spend here and will be willing to lease it out to person/family who is willing to assure us of taking absolute care of our home and pay their rent on time. I will start by telling you more in regards me and my family. I have a daughter named Leslie (20yrs) who attends University of Massachusetts as a medical student, she has a lot going for her and she is also down to earth in all that she does to keep us happy and when she is back home on vacation, she also assist her mom in the house work when am at work. I work as a Robotic Programmer & Welder/Fitter here in Massachusetts and got married to a lovely wife who is a member of Joyce Meyer Ministries . We will be very pleased if we can find the right tenant to rent our home, a person who is a clean freak and does not tolerate anything that has to do with dirt... we also would like to know more about you and your family, your renting experience and how long and when you plan moving into our home. These 3 bedrooms and 2 baths home are very specious and neat. 1,795 sqft Below is the rental property address: 6315 Southeast 23rd Avenue, Portland OR 97202 Pets allowed: Yes Rent:1300 Deposit:1000 The rental fee is inclusive with utilities and my home available as at this moment. Remain Blessed, Mr. & Mrs. Larry R Ruecker

I'm so glad Larry is so trusting as to give out their daughter's full name and collegiate whereabouts - even which part of the university she attends (the med school). Perfect stalker fodder.

My response:


From: Nancy 
Subject: Re: $1300 / 3br - Detached single family home (Portland OR)
To: "Larry r Ruecker" <larryrruecker@yahoo.com>
Date: Friday, June 10, 2011, 3:31 PM

Thanks for your email and I'm very interested in your house. Where would I send the deposit? Just hope it's okay, I am an animal enthusiast and despite having two boas (they like to roam the house), 2 housecats and 4 inside-outside dogs, I'm a neat freak like you are hoping for. I also work on clay pottery and hope to use one bedroom as my studio. I did ministry work too and am happy to see your wife is involved. I do run a small pharmaceutical business on the side for extra money and I have had success doing this out of my home so far. While I won't alter your windows, I will at times need to cover them up with tin foil. I'll use non-marking tape so there is no tape residue after I take it down. 

Thanks, hope to hear from you. 

Another canned reply:

Hello Nancy, We are very pleased that you wrote us regarding our home at 6315 Southeast 23rd Avenue, Portland OR 97202; I also had other people writing me requesting that they rent my property less than a year which I do not support. I want anyone renting my house to at least rent for a year or more. We have also made it known to anyone renting our home that our motives are making sure that the house is kept clean and neat. Utilities include Electricity, water, gas while appliances includes refrigerator, Stove, microwave, dishwasher, Washer/Dryer, Garbage etc.... I initially wrote you that we had plans of selling our house but had a change in mind to lease it out since we will not be staying more than 5 years. I really know that God has lead me to a wonderful person like you, as we are planning on selling our home initially thinking that no one can take care of our home when we are gone but with the help of my wife, we are able to think properly before selling our home and have found out that renting it will be the best option for us as we plan on coming back to our lovely home. You have also said a lot that pleases us and we have also seen how wonderful you can be when you move into our home. My concerns has been solved by you and we believe that all you said should be done the right way in ensuring that we trust you of becoming our tenant. We also plan on making our tenant family friends when they move in. If all arrangement goes well, we will have the entrance keys and other relevant document in a hard copy paper shipped to your present home address for you to move in at your convenient date. Our home is beautiful and need no amendments. All you have to do is bring in your belongings and maintain the utilities for us. We also have Internet cable in our home as we speak, and will like you to take absolute care of our house when you move in. As soon as you get back to me I will be attaching a rental application form for you to fill and get back to us with your information so that we can know you better. Remain Blessed, Mr. Larry & Family

I'm glad Larry is so understanding of my illicit drug business and my 10 foot massive housesnakes.  Landlords and I don't always see eye to eye on this sort of stuff.  God bless these people.

How to levitate

Natsumi Hayashi is one badass little Japanese photographer.  Okay, perhaps "badass" is a little strong, but she is at the very least clever.  Her recent series of gone-viral photographs show her apparently levitating in various settings - waiting for a train, at the edge of a bridge, in restaurants with a plate of food...  She often takes the photos herself with the camera on timer or will recruit a friend to snap shots.  It can take hundreds of "jumps" to get the shot just right - which is maybe easier if you are small and Japanese.  She also places herself in the air in precarious positions and I'm sure she has landed on her face on more than one occasion.  Nevertheless, this girl's got some mad hops.

Check out some of these cool photos.  I might just have to order a few prints.

Check out Natsumi's blog for more. 

Is that your...Weiner...or are you just happy to see me

Anyone else find it ironic that a man named Weiner to a photo of his, uh, weiner and sent it to a college chick?  And are we surprised it was a politician...again???

"Mmmmm....mum's the word. Okay, just kidding. It really was me."

Nice work, Rep. Anthony Weiner.  You've almost one-upped Rep. Chris Lee on this one.  Had you actually flexed in your photo, you might have.  Kudos for chest-shaving though.

Why is a Nigerian trying to rent my house out for me?

When your house is on the market, it's not unusual to have random looky-loos drive by to check out your house.  But when your house has SOLD, the random looky-loos start getting suspicious.  Then when one stops and starts asking about the craigslist ad to rent your house for less than half of what it should rent for - not that is was EVER for rent, mind you - questions start popping into your head.

Apparently, a ring of Nigerian online scamming masterminds have targeted MY house in little ol' Richmond, Virginia.  We checked craigslist and lo and behold, interior and exterior photos of my house...for rent!  At TJ Maxx prices.  Interestingly, these dudes crafted an email with my name included in it to reply to on craigslist.

When you send them an email expressing interest, this is the reply:

Hello,
Thanks for your interest and inquiries about my house.Yes the house is still available for rent and we are looking for a responsible person/family to occupy and maintain the house now that we are not around.

Myself and wife just traveled to UK for a program called Empowering Youth to Fight Racism, HIV/AIDS, Poverty and Lack of Education, the program is taking place in three major countries in Europe which are UK , Spain and Italy. We will be away for 4 to 5 years or more that is why I have made up my mind to put up my house for rent to 5whom ever that will take good care of it.Also how long do you intend to stay? How soon do you intend to move in?


I did a little homework online and discovered the rampant scamming that is taking place on craigslist.  These asswipes find homes listed on MLS, post them as rentals, ask the gullible to drive by and assess the exterior of the house, then WIRE TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT a deposit and first/last month's rent.  Really?


So what did I do? Reported them to an online internet scam database, reported them to craigslist, had the ad removed and wrote these guys a threatening email:  


You have been reported to the Internet Crime and Complaint Center. You are also being reported to the FTC, as well as local Richmond authorities. This is MY house you are trying to rent as a scam.  Cease posting fraudulent ads to rent property that is NOT YOURS TO RENT.  You will be pursued, apprehended and punished accordingly for these crimes.  


And the response?  


Thanks for your interest and inquiries about my house.Yes the house is still available for rent and we are looking for a responsible person/family to occupy and maintain the house now that we are not around.

Myself and wife just traveled to Nigeria for a program called Empowering Youth to Fight Racism, HIV/AIDS, Poverty and Lack of Education, the program is taking place in three major countries in Europe and Africa which are Spain,Greece and Nigeria.

We will be away for 2 to 3 years or more that is why I have made up my mind to put up my house for rent to whom ever that will take good care of it.Also how long do you intend to stay? How soon do you intend to move in?


Sigh.


After all the mental and emotional working-up I went through to draft that email, all I get is a generic auto-reply.  Great.  Fortunately, for those of us who get really angry and wish to exact revenge on these criminals, there apparently are support groups online.  A group of unpaid volunteers, loosely bound together by a hatred for craigslist scammers, have united to send mock replies to the scammers.  Obviously, as made apparent by the auto-reply I got, this reverse-harassment really doesn't help catch any net-criminals.  But what it could do, is waste their time - and maybe get you a chuckle out of it.  According to the "support group" or band of renegade internet vigilantes, getting a death threat is the ultimate reward - as it tells you that you've annoyed the shit out of some internet scammer.  People on this crusade even go so far as to set up faux email accounts so they themselves are untraceable by the scammers.  I guess if you can't catch 'em, then just bug the living daylights out of them.  


Sign me up.